It’s a Nice Day for a White Wedding

As I briefly mentioned in my last post, I recently got engaged. He’s the most thoughtful, understandable, and kindest individual I’ve ever dated…and he’s a traditional Catholic.

I was raised in a Catholic family, just like my fiancé; but unlike him, I left the idea of God behind with Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. Even though he doesn’t attend Sunday mass or pray before bedtime, he still holds a belief in something otherworldly, and therefore, insists on getting married in the Catholic Church. When I asked why he's so insistent on having a Catholic ceremony, the only answer he could come up with was, “I like the traditional values of the Catholic faith.”

Like a good little Atheist, I obviously grilled him about his ‘reasoning’. It’s not enough for Fiancé to say he enjoys the Church’s traditions; I wanted a concrete reason as to why Catholic traditions are so important to him. After all, if I’m going to make such an important compromise that it goes against my Atheist values, then I deserve a solid answer, complete with a list of references, flow charts, and statistical reports. Sounds reasonable.

After a lot of debating (albeit, with very few concrete answers) and countless accusations of trying to ‘convert’ each other, I finally agreed (conceded?) to grin and bear it at the foot of the altar because not only will it make Fiancé happy, but both of our devoutly Catholic families.

There may be a few people in the blogosphere calling me a hack or a hypocrite, but what these people need to understand (and what I fought so hard to conclude) is that I’m outnumbered in my family AND Fiancé’s family. My non-belief makes me part of a minority; so, fighting for the chance to have an Atheist wedding is just not worth losing the man with whom I want to spend my life and build a family. I guess sometimes – as in my case – tradition and family have to take precedence over religious belief systems.

I’m sure I’ll have a lot to write about once we start attending the mandatory group Catholic marriage preparation classes. And I can almost guarantee I’ll have some choice material to share as my family and Fiancé’s family begin offering their opinions about how our wedding should proceed. In other words, stay tuned for ten months of Catholic versus Atheist wedding talk!

Before I sign off, I have a question for all my readers: Have you gone through something similar, where you had to put your values aside (religious or otherwise) to make someone else happy (or prevent a war)? If so, what was the situation and how did it make you feel? It doesn’t have to be a specifically ‘Religion versus Atheism’ debate. I look forward to your comments.

Thanks for reading.

Heather <3

A.k.a. The Pretty Little Atheist.